Monday, April 13, 2009

BEDA 13: I'm like a cat! Like a big, stupid cat...


How's everyone doing today? Are your bellies rupturing? Are your insides burning from inhaling disturbing levels of sugar and DayGlo dyes? I'm currently eyeing the pile of candy that sits next to my bed, taunting me with it's tantalizing variety of jelly beans, chocolate bunnies, peeps, and assorted odd and ends that threaten to rot my teeth down to dust in a sugar-orgy of disturbing proportions.


Fun Fact: My sense of humor doesn't come across well in text.

I believe that said fact makes my blog near unreadable for folks who don't, you know, actually know me. If you are someone who has never spoken to me before, I assume your reaction to my blog is one of mild entertainment followed by an overwhelming urge to repeatedly club me over the head with the nearest blunt object for being such a whiny, little brat.

I am, in fact, something of a whiny, little brat, but that is, mostly, because I am an overwhelmingly unhappy person, prone to daydreams of ending myself in really original ways, like drowning myself in a pool full of milk whilst dressed like an Oreo or being trampled to death by screaming "FIRE!" and then "JONAS BROTHERS!" in a middle-school auditorium.

See? Some of you read that and think "Does this freak actually sit around thinking of things like this?" and, well, I guess the answer is "Yes" since I just wrote it down, but I don't *actually* sit around daydreaming about killing myself. Currently, I'm singing Collins songs from Rent and playing with a giant, blue Koosh ball-esque "thing" I got for my birthday. I'm just mentally deficient. There are many times that I say things that make people question my sanity, and these are people who've known me for years. I can't(won't try to) imagine what you strangers think reading these things.

I just sit down and start writing until I think I've said enough for the day or get distracted by shiny objects... or giant, blue, inflated, rubber-hair covered, Koosh-like balls. I *love* this thing!



  1. Oh, man. I am so hungry. I wish I had Easter candy. *sigh* Woe is me. See, apparently they don't do anything FUN for Easter here in Mexico.
    On a happier note, I am going home in less than FIVE DAYS! And both of my parents decided to hold off on the Easter festivities until next week. So, I still get to color eggs and eat lots of chocolate and hunt for plastic eggs in my backyard that my grandpa put money in. And all of this at (nearly) 20 years old. I <3 Easter.

  2. I could be a thousand, I'm *never* gonna give up on holidays that include massive amounts of candy. Double points if I get to where a costume.